Lola is now in her mid-90s. She spends most of her time in bed, sleeping. Whenever I come home to visit, she would be all smiles. Soon after that she’d open her right palm, asking for money. I would laugh and give her 20-peso bills since she would complain if I only hand one or two hundred peso bills. Konti lang daw.

Lola I think is exhibiting signs of Alzheimer’s as of late. She forgets if she has eaten. She gets mad at tito, her youngest son, for not giving her the money earned from the goods she used to sell from way, way back. She imagines things, like the kasambahay eating her food or stealing her money.

Just yesterday, she asked where her parents (my great-grandparents) were. She pointed out that she saw them in the stairs just adjacent her room. Nanghina raw si mama nung narinig niya yun.

I remember that the same thing happened to my paternal lola. Papa saw lolo standing in the stairs while he was dressing lola’s bed sores, as if he was there to fetch his wife. A few days later, lola died.

But to make things clear. Lola is still in good health. She can still walk with the aid of a stroller. She can still eat on her own. She still recognizes me. But I always have this nagging feeling that her days are numbered. That she is just waiting for death to come. That maybe she would probably die peacefully in her sleep.

Maybe it’s just the pessimist in me. Having all these negative thoughts. And I always brush the thought aside. It won’t do me any good.

But to be honest, I’m scared.

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14 Responses to Lola

  1. abou says:

    i think she is living a full life. lucky to reach her age. more years to come for lola.

  2. Andy says:

    Make the most of the situation. Quality time. Dalas-dalasan mo pag dalaw. 🙂

  3. lawstude says:

    swerte ka pa rin bro kasi you still have a lola unlike me na pareho ng wala. just spend quality time with her and i am sure naman na she has lived a full life 🙂 may she live longer pa 🙂

  4. prinsesamusang says:

    it is normal to be scared because you love her very much. i guess the best thing to do is make sure that everyday you have with her is treasured. be with her. hold her hand. kiss her. take all the time to cherish her. hang in there scud. hugs for lola.

  5. raft3r says:

    I dig this post
    Lola’s boy din kasi ako
    Your Lola will be just fine

  6. seriously, if lola made it to 100, she’ll be entitled to the centenary benefits

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