Heartless

My friends told me to move on. That I deserve someone worthy of me.

I tried. I tried not to make memories of us linger on my thoughts. God knows how hard I tried to let go.

At the back of my mind, though, I could not totally let go. I held on to the thought that we could get back together. That the memory of us could somehow rekindle what we once had.

I had a particular day in mind. Judgment Day I called it. That day would tell me if we still had one more stab at us.

The day arrived and I hoped and expected and waited but it was all for naught.

Every text message I received my heart would skip a bit thinking it was finally you. It wasn’t.

I checked messages from all of my email addresses and YM account but none were from you.

I realized then that you are not coming back. Gone from my life. For good.

I realized too that it is finally time to totally let go and move on. There’s no sense of holding on. You no longer care. I know that to be true. And it hurts. A bit.

For the first and final time, allow me to quote your last line — “Salamat na lang sa lahat.”

Goodbye, baby. I love you.

—–

To those who think I should not be the one doing the waiting think again.

I didn’t want to make the first move since I have exhausted all possible means to bring her back without losing my soul. The ball, as they say, was in her hands and she chose to throw away the basket.

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