I am no wuss. I confront problems and conflicts head on. I am not the type of guy who downs bottles of beer to escape from personal issues. I don’t go partying or sleep around.

I am strong. Or so I thought. Until my recent heartbreak. I did what a wuss would do. I escaped.

To set the record straight, I didn’t sleep around. Nor went partying. I did drink bottles of beers. Smoked a few cigarettes. I drew the line there. I didn’t wail. I didn’t smash things. I was cool on the outside but was actually a wreck.

What I did was I stopped blogging. Some of you may have noticed. I did not approve any of your comments. I didn’t comment on my blogroll’s recent posts. I distanced myself from the internet. I went on a self-imposed hiatus. And I didn’t announce it.

It’s been almost 2 weeks since. I didn’t want to post more about what I’m going through. I didn’t want my blog to be a diary of my current state of mind (emotions?) – mad, sad, disappointed, angry, melancholic.

But I’m back now. I will still write about my loss but not as often as to make you cringe and click that x button faster than one could say SCUD.


Allow me to make updates. Be warned though. This is going to be a long post. My longest, I think.

To start with, I finally bid farewell to my company over a week ago. My last day was not as smooth-sailing and enjoyable as I would have wanted to. I almost butted heads with upper management. Not a great way to end my 2.5-year stay. The day ended in a great way though. I had dinner and a few drinks with a couple of my best buds from the office.

A day after I went to watch the Archuleta/Cook concert at the MOA Concert Grounds. Archuleta was good but Cook was freaking fantastic. He sang ‘Always Be My Baby’ and ‘Come Back To Me’ which made me a little bit wistful. Tagos hanggang buto ang lyrics. It was the best way to spend my last night in Manila.

A few hours later (and 3 hours of sleep later) I was at the airport ticket, backpack, and duffel bag in hand. I was, as I mentioned earlier, escaping.

I needed to get out of the city. I needed to recharge. I needed to be with people who would help me forget, even for a bit, her.

So I flew to DC. I spent a week there.

I hugged my 93-year-old lola who, as expected, was ecstatic to see me then immediately asked me for money. Haha. Si lola talaga.

I played with my niece.

I went to the beach.

I bonded with my bro, sister-in-law, cousins, aunts, uncles.

I went to visit my aunt’s final resting place. Next week is her first death anniversary.

I sang my heart out during a night of karaoke and over 6 Red Horse Grandes. That was the first time I sang and got drunk with my folks.

I slept too. I slept for like 10 hours a day which is more or less the same amount of sleep spent for 3 days in Manila.

I completed reading Russell Banks’ The Sweet Hereafter about a sleepy town in New York coming to terms from a terrible bus accident that claimed the lives of their children. A wonderfully written book. A must read. You guys should also watch the movie adaptation starring Sarah Polley and directed by Atom Egoyan. That is if you want to get depressed.

I watched Sex Drive. It was hilarious. The plot has been done countless times before. Lanky teen desperate to lose his virginity meets a hot chick on the internet, fakes his identity, steals his brother’s hot car, and goes on a road trip with friends for an eyeball.

I finished my Season 2 marathon of The West Wing. I have seen all episodes of The Sopranos, Six Feet Under, The X Files, Lost, Friends and none of these can topple Aaron Sorkin’s creation of a fictional Democrat president’s stint in the White House on the top of my all-time favorite TV shows. It’s extremely intelligent, funny, superbly acted and shot, and full of heart. The rapid-fire dialogue is nifty and reminds me of Mike de Leon’s oeuvre. Never mind that there are times I don’t get what Leo, CJ, Sam, Josh blabber on, the show still rocks.

I was also able to watch the final performance night and finale of American Idol. I haven’t blogged about this show this season but I have made comments on other blogs. That I liked Gokey in the semis but shifted allegiance in the finals when I noticed his song choices was too blah. That I am not a fan of Lambert’s screeching although his Mad World and The Tracks of My Tears are two of my personal favorite performances this season. That I was rooting for Kris Allen because he has amazing song choices (Kanye West’s Heartless, Falling Slowly from the Once soundtrack to name a couple), cool arrangement, and nice jackets.

I thought the finale was great. From the top of my mind the most memorable were Allen and Keith Urban’s duet, Gokey’s Hello, Black Eyed Peas, bikini girl and Kara, Allison Iraheta and Cyndi Lauper’s Time After Time, and Michael Sarver and that tattooed chick performing with Steve Martin.

Before I forget, Kris Allen won! I’m pretty good on choosing my bets – Underwood and Bice on S4, McPhee and Yamin on S5, Lewis on S6, David Cook on S7.

And yeah. While I was in DC she was on my thoughts . Every day. Morning. Noon. Night. In my dreams. In the middle of watching a movie.

I miss her terribly. And still mad. And saddened by the thought that we can never be together again.


I’m now back in Manila. Plane landed a few hours ago. I’m blogging again. I approved comments. I backread posts from my blogroll. I made comments on their posts. I blog-hopped.

I’m catching up with my reading. Movies to watch. TV show marathons to complete. Hobbies that I put on hold when I met ex.

Now that she’s gone. I’m back. With a vengeance.

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