The news that got to us was false. We thought we were safe. We thought we would still be complete. Happy times pa rin amidst the global financial crisis.
Then a week ago, my manager broke the news to me and a teammate (Paul) that 2 from the Manila team will be getting the boot. She chose to tell us since we had the power to, in her words, “save the asses of two teammates”.
The reason? A new project has just been contracted and we were the (only) team members who matched the client’s need. If all goes well and the client gives the nod then no retrenchment.
Paul was cool about the whole thing. I was not. I haven’t used those skills the client needs for more than 2 years. Those weren’t the skills I’m good at. I told them about my fears. They brushed it aside. They said I should review. And that they were confident I would impress the client.
That is scary. That’s too much expectation. Too much pressure. I thought I was done with that kind of thing as soon as I got my license. I guess I was wrong.
Frankly, I don’t want to leave my team. I love my job. I love chatting with people from all parts of the globe – Americans, Brits, Spanish, Chinese, Polish, French, Russians. I like the people I work with. They’re fun. Cool. Brave. Green-minded. Assertive. Aggressive. They know me inside and out. They know when to avoid me when I’m in a bad mood. In short, they know my quirks.
But as much as I love my team I don’t want to fail. Failure, for this instance, is not an option. I don’t want to be the reason that a teammate would get retrenched. I don’t want to be the reluctant villain. I want to be the guy who saved an ass. I want to be the hero.
But what price, if I pass the client’s standards, would I have to pay in the long run? When my ass needs saving, will there be another Scud to act as the hero?
(Wednesday, February 4, 2009)
It’s final. I got in. I passed the interview. I made a good impression. I saved a teammate’s job.
I learned the news Friday morning the minute I badged into the office. It was a bittersweet feeling. I heaved a sigh of relief.
My teammates chorused an “Aaaawwww!!!” when it was officially announced that I was moving to another account, that I initially did’t want to, but had to do what’s the best for the team.
I’m actually looking forward to the job, with trepidation of course. I’ve always looked at the glass half-empty. I’m a cynic. Always have been.
But my manager reminded me to look at it as an opportunity. Now, I think it is. It’ll be a chance for me to prove my worth in the company. And I’ll be mentoring someone. That’ll be a challenge.