I was going through my saved messages in my cellphone when I chanced upon a couple of messages when I was pretty down a couple of weeks back. You see, when I get really depressed or get stuck in traffic or have a sudden burst of inspiration I “write” on my cellphone like mad lest the thoughts go away and I will no longer be able to conjure it back.
So here they are. A warning though. These thoughts are a little bit dramatic, even for my taste, so bear with me or close this window. asap.
August 8, 2008
My life is in shambles. There are not enough challenging tasks at work which was precisely the reason why I resigned my previous company. An officemate, whose workstation is right beside me, has an attitude problem and acts like a nincompoop at times. My father will undergo surgery in a week to removes tones from his gall bladder. My mother forgets or simply ignores my simplest instructions. Most of the people I know have successful careers, gotten married, built a family, visited countries and places I only saw in movies or read in books/magazines. Me? Still stuck in the islands. Broke. Broken. Alone.
August 8, 2008
Rage. I feel the anger slowly building inside me, slowly findings its way out. I feel I’m losing control and I’ll just snap. This is not a phase. This has gone way too long. Why has fate brought me to this? Is there, as they, say a light at the end of the tunnel? From where I’m at now, I only see a glimmer of light in the horizon and when I slowly walk towards the beacon it seemingly goes farther away, out of my reach.