Bump

How weird is it when you notice a pimple in australialand? For me, not weird enough. Didn’t pay any attention to it. That was at most 6 months back. Flash forward to last week. On one of those rare moments when taking a bath, I felt a solid bump on australialand. i looked down and the first thing I noticed was that the pimple was gone but an undeniable black bump took its place. I pushed, pulled, and pinched the bump.
It hurt. A little. And it scared me. A lot.
So I googled what a bump in australialand meant. The internet wasn’t very helpful so I did what any responsible 27-year-old guy would do (naks!), I had it checked. And that was the start of me dropping my pants to not one but two male doctors in two separate occasions only a couple of hours apart. It was embarrassing to say the least. Even more embarassing was that the air conditioning was on full blast. And no, it’s not what you think it is. Don’t think Ennis Del Mar. Think anti-Dirk Diggler or Fox Mulder’s warning when he dropped his pants in one of X-Files’ episodes. Haha.
After takng a look, the clinic’s resident surgeon concluded that it was a mass and can be taken out w/o my spending a single cent on the operation. So i had the mass removed a few hours back. It took like 15 mins to open me, remove the mass, and close me. Again, about 5 people saw me in my birthday suit lying on the operating table arms apart like I was being crucified while Seal crooned Kiss from a Rose from a black cd player. I did see the mass, which the surgeon now described as a cyst (i had and still have no idea of the differenced between a mass and a cyst), and it was the size of a quarter of a marble and that there was no reason for me to lose sleep over it.
I almost sighed with relief but the surgeon, Dr C, told me that I had to go back to the clinic in a week to remove the stitches. Which means dropping my pants. Again. Damn it!

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